January 4th, 2012
More is never quite enough, is it? In fact, ask more itself what it wants, it will respond with, “More!”
Most reliable studies indicate that money, for example, is not equated with happiness or well-being. Yet our striving for more is relentless. And it’s not just quantity we seek, but the perception of a certain elite quality. The best, the top-rated, the most sought after.
Wouldn’t it be ironic if more actually led to less? What if the harder and faster we chase after more, the net result is – less? That would be a disappointing wake-up call. What if more money led to less satisfaction? If more striving led to less personal fulfillment? If trying to be the best led to often feeling your worst?
Now, I am not anti-money, or anti-quality, or anti-striving, or anti-best. But I do worry about certain social and cultural phenomena that work against truly educating children, for example, with a strong work ethic, with a deep sense of moral character, and with a set of values that will serve them and their world well over time. Consider some examples of where societal values appear to be, in terms of where some choose to spend their dollars.
For example: how many great teachers could be hired in the U.S. for the cost of one NFL player’s annual salary? Which in 2009 averaged $1.4 million. Forget Tebow and others of celebrity rank. By contrast, Finland, which internationally ranks at the top in comparative educational test scores, pays teachers handsomely and regards them likewise. (Ironically, the U.S. spends top dollar per child, but produces mediocre results by international standards.)
For example: how much teacher training and development could have been undertaken for the price of Kim Kardashian’s high-profile wedding? Okay, the money involved in our celebrity-obsessed world is an easy target. The point: compared to sports and media as entertainment, education is a low national priority. As we bemoan the taxes that pay for it, education remains an uninspiring, unentertaining, and unnecessarily dull occurrence on the national stage.
The addictive quality of more and more bleeds into the quest for only-the-best. Too often, the best is code for Number One on a published and highly circulated list. If best were the best according to a set of thought-out criteria matched to an individual’s authentic needs, that would be something else. But frequently the best is simply more in disguise – more prestige, more social status. That surface sense of being the best does not saturate the soul with authentic quality.
So, how to counteract this more is more?
Let’s educate our children to engage in deep and reflective thinking. Let’s give them genuine problems to solve, at home and in school. Let’s involve them in real decision making that has consequences they care about. Give them the opportunity to set meaningful rules that affect them and the ones around them.
Let’s talk to them about our own deepest values. The important things we remember our own parents telling us. Read to them from the religious texts we revere, the stories that have morals we cherish. Let’s make sure that they understand we as parents and role models are fair and loving, but also the ones who set the tone, make the final determinations for the well-being of the family, and bear the responsibility for their safety and security. If sports are important in our family, and winning is of value, let’s make sure that we’ve examined the implications of what “being number one” really means on down the line.
Also, let’s not so over-protect our children to the point that they have no latitude to make mistakes – that only leads to frailty and an unwillingness to take reasonable risks. Let’s have high but not such single-minded expectations that they fear becoming the unique individuals God intended them to be. No one escapes failure – those who succeed are those who know how to handle failure well.
None of those efforts requires a lot of money, or power, or capital. But they all require moral investment, and spiritual equity, and an ethical portfolio that you watch carefully.
As for education, school, and learning – children need both more and less of what we sometimes think they need. Following are a few suggestions for the more, and the less:
More: time to reflect. Real-life problems to wrestle with. Play that involves creativity and imagination. Challenging projects that engage their brain over time, not just their pencil or laptop. Perseverance, respect, and hard work. Physical activity. The arts woven into life.
Less: less worry about grades. Less memorization of facts to forget after the test. Not being compared to others in their class by their parents or teachers. Not rushing in school from place to place, subject to subject. Fewer activities outside of school so they can rest, play, and regroup. Less panic about going to “the number one school.”
All the above deserves more explanation, yet that’d be too ironic given the general topic here. But it’s a rough accounting for now. Children need both structure and freedom, time to learn and valuable feedback, social engagement and time alone – pretty much like adults do. School in the U.S. does a decent job of educating children now. But it needs to do a bang-up phenomenal job, because kids in other countries are working harder and smarter than we are in some ways. Our children can reorder a few priorities at a time, and deepen the quality of their lives, and the lives of those who follow them – our children and our grandchildren deserve that, as does our country.
