Above the Line
I received an Evite a few weeks ago that really shocked me. I was just way too busy to open it, which is another blog post by itself. Most of my personal emails have gone unopened just because my “schedule” has been so hectic. Life shouldn’t be like that. And that’s something I can (and should) control. But I digress. I’ll continue lecturing myself later.
So I didn’t open this Evite until some time last week, and by that time the event had passed, and it was too late to respond to even say, “Oops! Sorry I didn’t make it…” Well, just the title of the evite that appeared in the subject line caught me off guard. It said, “Delta Theta Alumnae Social Committee has sent you an Evite Invitation”. Delta Theta is the chapter of the sorority I joined, Chi Omega. Well, here’s the shocking part: I de-pinned at the end of my sophomore year. The girls who organized this event know that, and I was still invited to this event.
At a college friend’s memorial service in August, there was a section just for her sorority sisters, and as soon as we walked into the church, I kind of panicked. My big sister (in the sorority) was speaking during the service, so she had to go to another part of the church to meet, so I was with some of the other girls. I mentioned to one of the girls that I was torn, since I wasn’t “officially” a Chi Omega. She kind of rolled her eyes, and said, “Whatever. You can sit with us. Do you think we’re just going to let you sit by yourself?” Anyone who knows the dynamics of sororities knows how serious events like these are, and can understand why I thought it would be a huge deal.
Another instance before I make my point: Last week (or the week before), I wrote this description of a photo album of Jake (within an online social network): Jake is my “nephew”. Kristen was/is my big sister in Chi Omega, and even though I de-pinned, she made it clear from the beginning that I am always her little sister. And that’s how Jake is my nephew! 
Not too long after that, I get a message from a friend. To clarify the context of this message, she’s actually the mom of one of my former students. Her message said, “I love looking at all your pictures! I always knew we were connected in more ways…I was a Chi O too!” After I replied, “No way!!!! WOW!” she said, “See, I knew we were bonded somehow!” Never mind the fact that I mentioned I had de-pinned. It was like she didn’t even read that part, and like I said before, anyone who knows the dynamics of sororities knows how you can be completely shunned for de-pinning.
At the beginning of this school year, Maryellen explained the meaning of “living above the line”. I’m sure I don’t have all the details completely correct, but hopefully, the point will be made nevertheless. She went to a workshop during the summer, and the facilitator asked everyone to draw a horizontal line. She told them to write down adjectives describing the kind of classroom environment they did not want to have. Then, “above the line”, she told them to write adjectives for the kind of classroom environment they did want to have. Then she challenged them to always live “above the line”.
That’s what I thought of with these experiences. Despite all of my reasons for getting out of the sorority, these ladies truly demonstrated the meaning of “living above the line”. All of these instances, however small they may seem, almost brought tears to my eyes.